It’s coming up to a year since I started this blog, and I am very aware that I have not written for a couple of months. Part of it has been writers block and other parts was me doubting my ability to write good content.
I thought to release myself back into blogging was to remind myself and to tell you all why I started it in the first place and what I initially wanted to gain from it and actually how this has changed over the past year or so.
When I first started the blog, it was to improve my writing but also it was a release in some way. Writing and reading have always been a form of escapism for me yet I never before had the confidence to write something and then put it out publicly. I’m not saying that I am amazing at writing, I know at times my grammar can be appalling and what is going on in my head doesn’t always translate to the page or computer screen. The blog became my place to channel my energy in a positive way. I have become a slave to social media in the past few years, and have had to go on a few detoxes because I seek validation from likes which I recognise is vapid but is also a telling sign of our generation. I remember seeing a post on Instagram which upset me but also made me frustrated at myself because I was upset (a vicious cycle), and from then it was almost a lightbulb moment that I didn’t want to obsess over someones social media anymore and I wanted to channel that same energy in to a positive social media presence for myself.
So, once I established that, I then wanted to write about stuff that I liked. And the first thing that popped into my mind was clothes because I love shopping and I loved the inner empowerment that dressing well gave me. I have always been a sensitive person, so dressing well and putting on a confident exterior was always a coping mechanism. My interest in fashion doesn’t make me shallow or self-centred and I still to this day make a many fashion faux pas and my taste certainly isn’t for everyone. So, I adopted the ‘fashion blogger’ title initially, and then after a while the blog became more personal. I found it easy to open up and offer any pearls of wisdom to those around me, because as young 20 somethings we are all experiencing this strange part of life and the transition from young adult to an adult so to speak. The blog became my safe place to publish my own thoughts and talk about things that I would like to read myself. I know that some people are very private and would dislike reading some of the stuff that I have written, because it wouldn’t be something that they would write about. We are all so conscious of airing our dirty laundry and maintaining this perfect online image. So now, I would still like to write about clothes but I also equally enjoy, if not more, writing about everything else.
I have figured out something about myself in the past year, which is how I think. I am an ideas person and always have been. So, ideas will sparkle brightly in my mind but then simultaneously they will fizzle out within a couple of hours or couple of days. And this has manifested itself in my blog posts because I get excited and passionate about a topic so I write extensively and perhaps ignore grammar, and if I don’t publish it in that moment then it might not get published at all, (I have so many unfinished word documents on my laptop). So, right now you are witnessing a sparkly idea of mine to bear all again, and I am forcing myself to publish it before I forget. Another example of this was when I created a second Instagram for a month or two, at this point I wasn’t sure if I wanted to try and become an influencer, and then suddenly I felt this pressure on myself to take amazing photos and publish content all the time which I realised wasn’t really for me so I abandoned that pipe dream. Also, my blog was becoming more personal so the idea of having 2 different instagrams didn’t make sense to me.
Anyway, I do plan to write more from now on, and not feel guilty for putting up content that isn’t fashion based – nothing in life is static anyway!